Is Divorce Mediation Right for You ?

Michael K. McFadden

Initially pursuing divorce mediation has the potential of offering parties many benefits including the potential for lower costs, faster resolution, more control, less conflict, more privacy and more confidentiality, when compared to the litigation process.  Why doesn't everyone seeking a divorce opt for divorce mediation?  The short answer is that in order for divorce mediation to work, both parties must be able to communicate civilly and must be able to be reasonable and fair in discussing potential resolution terms of all disputed issues.  For various reasons some parties are not able to communicate in a way that can reap the above benefits of divorce mediation. 

The New Jersey Courts encourage parties to pursue resolving their divorce issues though Complementary Dispute Resolution.  This is clear as the Courts have mandated that a retained Divorce attorney must certify that they have discussed with their client Complementary Dispute Resolution alternatives to litigation. 

In addition, even if you file a divorce complaint, during the litigation you will be compelled to participate in one or more programs focused on Alternative Dispute Resolution.  For example, for the division of property, each case is diverted to a Matrimonial Early Settlement Panel (“MESP”). If a settlement is not reached after MESP the Court can require the couple attend a private mediation with a mediator.  Likewise, if custody/parenting disputes are at issue the parties will be ordered to attend educational programs and to participate in a parenting mediation process.  None of these programs result in a binding result, as either party is able to reject the recommendations and pursue a trial.

In concluding, if you believe you can communicate civilly and address issues reasonably divorce mediation may be your best option.  As your mediator I act as a facilitator of the negotiation between the parties, while providing structure to the conversation.  Divorce mediation in New Jersey can be used to resolve all of the issues that arise in a divorce.  The result of a successful divorce mediation is the preparation of a Memorandum of Understanding that sets forth the parties intent to settle all issues.  It is then anticipated the parties, with or without attorneys, use the Memorandum of Understanding to create their own Property Settlement Agreement. Once this process is complete the Divorce can be filed and proceed on an uncontested basis.